I can't wait to go again....

i have been feeling very overwhelmed lately, personally and professionally. i never get more than 4-5 hours of sleep a night, i have work on my mind about 18 hours a day, i am a single parent half the time when my hubby is out of town which is most of the time, my kids are active and busy little munchkins, my kids are frustrated that i am not spending more time with them, my hubby wants me to spend more time at the lake, i am having issues with my mom about the lack i see of her and how much we miss her and the list goes on....

you know, i don't like reading other peoples blogs where all they do is bitch and complain about the dumbest stuff and i swore i wouldn't have a negative blog but i just wanted to mention this because i had a release this past week. it is like a weight was lifted off my shoulders and i became a new person. the story starts like this...

i left wednesday morning and went to the edmonton airport. it was pretty uneventful until i got to the calgary airport. when going through customs, the customs agent opened up my bags and checked me out pretty good. she said i was going to be her random check. lovely was all i had to say! she went through everything and i mean everything. she patted me down and frisked me. the gromets on my jeans kept sending off the detectors so for a couple seconds i even had her hands in my pants. what an experience that was! i was mortified but i understand why they do it. i look like holly hobbie or grandma lee so i couldn't figure out why they wouldn't do it to the scary guy behind me but whatever. then i was looking in the gift shop when i saw this very tall man fall and smash his head on the tile. i immediately saw blood coming from his head. he was bleeding pretty heavily. a couple passengers ran to his aid. one was a nurse. i would have but the sight of blood makes me pass out. they don't know if he had a seizure or blacked out or what. he was an east indian man and wasn't making any sense and was spasmming. i don't know if there were language issues or he suffered brain problems from the fall. it took about 15 minutes for the ems to show up which i thought was ridiculous. the man was supposed to be on our flight. they found out that he was an instructor at a miami university but was from louisiana. when we got on the plan he was still lying there with the ems. the boarding agent told us on the plane that he was in stable condition and off to the hospital but i was in the 3rd row and heard him tell the pilot that it didn't look good. i thought about him the whole time i was gone and still do and wonder what happened to him.
so needless to say i kept thinking this was a sign that i shouldn't be flying. i saw final destination. was a scared? heck ya!

then i get to utah and see my good pal janna and everything was fine. i took classes that made me think about who i am, what i want from my life, the people that matter most in my life and what i want from my life that i am not getting. it was an eye opener. i talked with christy tomlinson from chatterbox for a few moments and she really made me see "the big picture". she was in tears when she mentioned that she was leaving chatterbox full-time to just work occassionally. she said she has 6 kids and she is missing out on them. she also said what is going to matter in 10 years? that she helped a whole bunch of scrapbookers create some nice albums and pages or that she mattered in her kids' life. i saw what she was talking about. i shared a tear with her. i totally understand. on the flip side of that, i have been disliking scrapbooking so much over the past 6 months or more because i only ever do the business side of it and don't get to enjoy my hobby anymore. this past week changed that. i not only enjoy it but i have such a different vision now and can't wait to go and create more. i saw so many cool layouts and creations and met such wonderful people from all over the world like all over the us, brazil, germany, south africa, australia and other canadians. our friends from scrap-a-lot (shirley ann, kim and cheryl) were there too and i was in classes with all of them. i got to know them better and really enjoyed chatting with them as well. they are all very nice ladies. i did hear them say too that they don't plan on being in this more than 3 more years as well. it is so easy to burn out. i can't imagine that all scrapbook store owners don't feel the same. stacy julian said she is missing her kids as well and is burning out. i heard that from numerous celebrities. elsie flannigan is hoping to get pregnant soon. it was amazing to meet them all in person and some of them for the second time and find out more about them. they are so down to earth and real!

i came back re-energized, missing my kids, missing my scrapbooking, missing my husband and wanting to rekindle that spark that spouses sometimes lose as well as focusing more on my life and finding out that there are some things in my life that i can't change and somethings i have to learn to accept. my life has changed over the last few years and i can't have the life i had before that. i have to accept that i have a new life and this is my new normal.


over the 5 days i was gone, i shared tears and laughs with janna and became even better friends with her. i learned more about her and had an all out great time! i made great friends that i sure hope i can see again down the road. janna and i had a great time and are planning to do this again in the future. i can't wait to go back. i highly recommend it!